It is odd that only today I realized the irony of my blog’s name, “Why Would I Sleep?” given the fact that I essentially stopped writing when I started sleeping.
I suppose that’s fairly obvious, but it honestly never occurred to me.
While I am proud of the fact that I have had quite a few birthdays (44, *creak*) I fight the aging process with everything I have. I exercise obsessively and eat whole and healthy foods. (Full disclosure: I also love Mexican food, chocolate and the occasional margarita, but those things are allowable for both mental health reasons and overall deliciousness.)
When I chose the title for my blog way back in 2006, it was easy, because virtually all of my writing occurred after 10PM and often crept into the wee hours of the morning. Oh sure, I was chronically exhausted, but at the same time, those quiet, creative hours fed my soul in a way that made it not only worthwhile to trade sleep for computer time, but necessary.
Fast forward to Summer, 2008… otherwise known as “The Big 2,002 Mile Move.”
We sold our house. We lived in a hotel for two months. With three children and two cats. We moved, unpacked and collapsed. Totally worth the effort, but man, were we tired. We’re all deliriously happy here, but I’m STILL tired. Somewhere in there, my status as a person in her 40′s caught up with my late night habit and my desire to sleep eclipsed my desire to write.
But wait, that’s not quite right. The desire to write has never left me, and damn, do I miss it. But the time and energy seem to have slipped from my grasp.
Thank you, friends, for reminding me that life is too short not to follow your passions. For reminding me that, while there is never enough time, the ability to get through all the crap — the chores, the paperwork, the errands and most importantly, my capacity to be an effective parent to my children, are of massively higher quality when I’m pursuing the things that I do well. Thank you for reminding me why I love to write, and why it is important.
You know who you are.
And now, back to laundry.