Monthly Archives: December 2006

An In-Depth Movie Review

We went to see Charlotte’s Web today. I have been looking forward to this movie since I first saw the trailer many months ago, as I vividly remember Charlotte’s Web as the first book that ever made me cry. It appeals intensely to my inner sap. And how can you beat a family movie that casts Steve Buscemi as Templeton, The Rat?

We all loved the movie. And, yes, Charlotte and Wilbur made me cry.

This was the conversation we had in the car on the way home.

Hannah: “SOME PIG” was my favorite thing that Charlotte wrote. I don’t know what “RADIANT” means.

Sam: That’s because you’re stupid.

Me: Sam, what does “RADIANT” mean?

Sam: Next Christmas, I want a dirt bike.

Me: Hannah, “RADIANT” means “especially beautiful.”

Hannah: What about that other word? “HUMBLE”? I don’t know what that means, either.

Me: Someone is “HUMBLE” when they are beautiful or smart or radiant or terrific, but they don’t brag about it. And when people compliment them, they just quietly say “thank you.”

Hannah: I say “thank you” to the lunch lady when she gives me my lunch. And I gave her one of the cookies we made for our holiday party. Nobody ever remembers to give the lunch lady anything!

Me: Hannah, that was incredibly thoughtful. That makes me feel proud of you.

Hannah: I know.

Sam: I liked Templeton. In the commercial, he said he was the star of the movie.

Hannah: That’s not humble. Which one of the baby spiders did you like best?

Sam: None of them. They were all girls.

Hannah: Can we get Happy Meals, now?

I think I’ll cook bacon tomorrow morning, just to see what happens.

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*pheeeeeew!*

The flurry of holiday activity seems to finally be nearing an end!

The tree is crispy, once or twice-used gifts are still strewn all over the family room, and the kids are in the midst of their traditional, festive post-Christmas letdown, complaining about what they didn’t get.

But, it’s snowing, Starbuck’s is open, a New Year is about to begin, and I have a new hard drive on its way.

My other hard drive died. Suddenly. It was awful.

I don’t want to talk about it.

My Kids’ Top 5 Current Weird Habits

1.) Sam has a new hobby. He makes potions in near the sink, using water, milk, instant oatmeal, dish soap, and coffee grounds (GASP! NOT MY STARBUCK’S CHRISTMAS BLEND!!!) He calls it “hair growth formula,” and has no regard for the puddles and crumbs he leaves on the countertop, on the floor, near the couch, and under the toaster. (Positive side note: thus far, he has not attempted to apply it to his or anyone else’s head.)

2.) Abby cleans her room and the always-trashed basement playroom while singing at the top of her lungs and without being asked (NTTAWWT.) I think this may have something to do with the whole “Santa Is Watching” thing.

3.) We recently had new facilities installed in the bathroom. Whenever Hannah has a friend over, her first activity is to lead The New Bathroom Tour and to invite her friend to flush the new “turbo flush” toilet.

4.) She refers to the new commode as “Mr. Happy Toilet.”

5.) Abby and Hannah have decided that it’s cool to hang out in the new tub. They each choose an end, line the tub with bath towels, stretch out their legs and relaaaax. There’s nothing exciting or different about this tub — it’s just your basic plain white model — but it’s new and they feel the need to break it in. Every dry-tub visit ends with both girls screaming and crying because they inevitably kick each other in the head, while fighting for leg room.

Under normal circumstances, I would wait until I had a solid list of 10 things before posting this, but Christmas is in nine days and I need to go to Starbuck’s.

I’m out of Christmas Blend.

The Improv Songstress

Hannah loves milk.

She told me a couple of weeks ago that she loves to say the WORD “milk.” She likes the “k” sound at the end.

When she asks for a drink, she repeats the word and her favorite sound like an echo (“Mom, can I please have some milk milk milk milk k-k-k-k-k“) so that she can feel that “k” sound bouncing around in the back of her mouth.

I’m very proud.

Life Is Complicated When You Love Pigs

This is Hannah’s library book.

Awwwww, look at the piggies! They’re sooooooo cuuuuuute!

Back in September, Hannah made the piggie/bacon connection, contemplated the ethical issues as they pertained to her Disney-influenced sensibilities, and ultimately decided that she was okay with the concept of bacon, “because it is delicious.”

So she was prepared for this page:


But appalled by this one:


Hannah: (wide-eyed and slack-jawed) Mom! Look at this! They make purses out of pigs??

Me: Yep, they do. And belts and boots and footballs. Those things are made from pigskin.

Hannah: (after a very… long… pause…) WHAT??? That is SO gross! Really? But… pigs are cute!

Me: Hannah, I understand why this upsets you, but how is this different than when you found out that bacon is made from pigs? You were OK with that, I thought.

Hannah: (look of horror begins to shift to look of “Uh oh, if I take up the fight to save the pigs, I’ll have to give up bacon”) Well. I told my sandwich I was sorry.

Epilogue: And since I’m video-post happy, here, by popular demand, is Hannah’s ode to the egg and cheese (with bacon) sandwich.

Is it really December?

Happy Holidays!

Open Query: Does posting this here mean I don’t have to mail Christmas cards? I vote yes.