In the Interest of Self Amusement

The magnifying-glass.jpgBlog Stats page is one of my favorite things about WordPress. It appeals to my inner geek, allowing me to see how many of you read what I write here, which posts you’re interested in, and where you’re coming from. I can analyze readership trends, read what you’re writing, and provide stalker information to local law enforcement officials.

The “Search Engine Terms” section is my favorite part of the spy page. If an unsuspecting reader or two happen upon my blog by innocently searching for some topic such as kids or pork or legos, I get to see exactly what search terms were typed to steer said searchers here.

I feel sorry for these people.

I imagine some goodhearted, kind, perhaps even slightly panicked person searching for legitimate first aid or child-rearing information, and landing instead here in the land of hair growth formula, gaseous emissions, and bodily injury.

Following is a list of actual search engine terms that led readers here, instead of someplace else that may have offered actual useful information:

1. swollen tick
2. Templeton the Rat Art
3. Turbo Flush
4. Sleep needs of 11 year old boys
5. Cheez-Its
6. What does TBLS mean?
7. under-her-boots
8. her boobs are developing
9. underwear sleepover party

and, last but not least, my all-time favorite:

10. FIRST AID FOR JALAPENO PEPPER JUICE IN THE EYE

I think this list sums up my little corner of the internet quite nicely. And while I wish I had thought of it first, I still may have to use that last one as a book title.

Sidenote to whomever had The Jalapeno Incident: Is everyone okay?

UPDATE: Two new and notables to report: “4th grade kids kissing,” and “am I pathetic for not having a boyfriend.” Har!

Advertisements

10 responses to “In the Interest of Self Amusement

  1. Dear sister, your inner geek has become your outer geek. It’s showing, not unlike a red and swollen thumb after it’s been bonked by a ballpeen hammer. Time to seek medical attention…and perhaps a shot or two of Jalapeno pepper juice.

  2. uncle doug, (can i call you uncle doug?), we love her geekiness…it’s part of her charm.!

    :)

  3. Outer geek it is. World, behold my true geeky self! And yes, medical attention is probably not a terrible idea either.

    sg… *smooch!* :)

  4. *concurs with s-girl*

    Nothing wrong with being a geek.

    I did, in fact, get that Trivial Pursuit game from my dad. Hope we’ll have time to play it tomorrow. :-)

    *scampers off to watch Jeopardy*

  5. sgirlonthebayou

    kay, i’ve taken the leap, and moved my blog to wordpress. it wasn’t so scary hittin “import”, cuz it was actually labeled “magic button”, which made it somewhat more comforting. ;)

    sg: WOO-HOO! I think you’ll like it here. The “magic button” thing made me very anxious, because I worried that my old blog would melt down and take all of my old posts with it. I’m usually surprised when internetty things work the way they’re supposed to. Is that bad? – KDF –

  6. SISTAH-HOOD OF THE DOOFI UNITE!!

  7. Okay, I must admit… I’ve become addicted to your blog. I find great comfort in a complete stranger with a refreshing sense of humor and an ASD child to boot! But I must admit, just before clicking on Blog Surfer, I had already read and analyzed Blog Stats and Feed Stats. I too love to see who reads my blog and what fun things have lead them there. Of course, I’m rather new to blogging and even newer to wordpress, so my most interesting thus far is only: going to the beach with sensory integration. Of course, I’ve never had issues with my sons and the beach. My autistic son loves to get dirty and loves sand all over him. I however HATE sand and I hate to wash it off my three grubby little boys!

  8. iam – that’s a very nice compliment. Thank you!

    My son also has lots of sensory integration issues, and yet doesn’t mind a bit when he’s covered with sand or dirt or mud or axle grease.

    Regarding the beach — do you know the baby powder trick? Keep some in your car, and next time your boys’ feet are wet and covered with sand, just powder them down and the sand slides right off — works like magic, and you’ll leave the beach at the beach.

    Of course, the inside of your car will now be covered with baby powder instead of sand, but it’s a tradeoff worth making.

    Hint #2: don’t leave the powder where your scatterers will find it. That’s another mess you don’t want to clean up. *cough*

    /end random, geeky Heloise-channeling session

  9. Thanks for the hints. Of course, I’ll have to buy baby powder since David has already sprinkled every bottle I’ve ever owned on house, car, and yard… Though his worse messes were Vaseline and cherries jubilee Mary Kay lipstick…two separate instances but both all over himself and my couch and bed…

  10. welcome to wordpress sg!
    and uncle doug, we’ve all known her secret for a while now, it’s safe with us.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s