I Wonder About This Every Single Time I’m In Starbucks

I have a question, and I promise, I’m really not irritated. I just don’t get it.

Why oh WHY is there not a separate line for Starbucks customers who wish to purchase nothing more than the beverage known as “coffee,” so that they can pay, get their drink — which is already ready — and get on with their lives in a timely fashion? Shouldn’t there be an express checkout separate from the people ordering grande half-caf triple two-pump non-fat toffee nut lattes with a toasted turkey sandwich and molasses cookie on the side?

I confess — I’m usually a member of Group II. (Those molasses cookies are downright addictive.) But really, wouldn’t an express lane make sense? Fewer people crowding the store when it’s busy, less crankiness amongst the customer base?

Or do the Starbucks people want the drip coffee customers to be in the store longer, just in case the extra time standing there may entice them to buy Starbucks tchotchkes and bags o’ beans?

Oh.

Never mind.

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4 responses to “I Wonder About This Every Single Time I’m In Starbucks

  1. Noticing how grande half-caf triple two-pump non-fat toffee nut lattes comes very naturally to you…just sayin’.

    And anyone silly enough to order a straight coffee at Starbucks does deserve their own line – at the gas station down the road, where they probably “proudly serve Starbucks™,” anyway.

  2. Jeff Meyerson

    I’ve heard their (not they’re) breakfast sammiches leave a lot to be desired. I generally stick to the cookies or donuts (if they have the kind I like) but eschew the half-caf whatever.

    Even if I liked it I’d feel like an idiot asking for it.

  3. I have a grand(e) solution: I don’t drink coffee.

    I’ve been to Starbucks three times in my life. All three times were for a hot carmel apple cider on a cold Indiana winter evening. And I went via drive thru. :-)

  4. I could not agree more. Ugh! I’m a plain cuppa joe kind of gal, no frothy bullroar for me.

    Let’s start a campaign!

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