1) Wake up snuffly and stuffy. Exhibit just enough genuine misery to convince your mother that you really do need to take the day off.
2) Repeatedly declare your love for those extra-soft, lotion-infused tissues, even while steadfastly refusing to blow your nose, since “it will make the cold worse.”
3) Miraculously recover by 10 AM. However, continue to run a low grade fever so that your mom doesn’t drag you off to school for the rest of the day, which would be totally humiliating.
4) Ask if you can go shoe shopping, since you feel much better now.
5) When #4 fails, learn all the words and dance steps to “All for One,” from Disney’s High School Musical 2, then… shake it!
6) Take a break from the dance-a-thon long enough to inform your mom that you won’t be talking for “quite a while.” Write notes to express your needs, thoughts and questions. When asked why you have decided to stop talking, explain that you “just don’t feel like it.”
7) When offered lunch, request (in writing) a trip to Dunkin’ Donuts.
8) Settle for a homemade turkey sandwich and a glass of milk.
9) Once you decide to start talking again, ask to call Uncle Doug, since he will feel sorry for you and he’ll make you feel better.
10) Take full advantage of the Sick Day TV Rule Exemption and watch back-to-back-to-back episodes of Hannah Montana.
Special Note: No later than 4 PM, begin to show signs of a Serious Relapse, just in case mom might maybe possibly give you another day off tomorrow.