1) Sam’s first school dance is history. I am happy to report that I am breathing again.
2) There are no action photos, since the gym was pitch black, except for the occasional migraine-producing strobe light provided by the DJ.
3) If Sam did dance, I’m fairly certain that the dancing was of the jumping up and down variety.
4) He spent more than half his time in the cafeteria, away from the loud music and near the fruit rollups.
Sam eating fruit snacks while putting up with his mother and her camera.
5) Girls (many of whom appeared to have tragically collided with their mothers’ makeup bags) outnumbered boys, at least 3:1.
6) More than dancing, the preferred activity of the evening appeared to be walking. Walking the halls, walking to the bathrooms, walking back and forth between the gym (darkness, scent of sweatsocks, extremely loud music) and the cafeteria (snacks, pizza, water bottles.)
7) Helpful Hint #1: If you are the guy assigned with the task of delivering 40 large pizzas to a middle school dance attended by 322 uncomfortable, giggly, hungry pre-adolescents jacked up on adrenaline and Mountain Dew, bring your own security detail.
8) Helpful Hint #2: If you are a parent chaperone and you are in the hallway between the gym and the cafeteria when the DJ announces that the $2.00 pizza slices have been marked down to a dollar, stay out of the way.
9) Query: Have 8th grade boys always had facial hair? Is Sam really only a year or two away from that??
10) Sam informs me that he likes this song. However, he thinks it’s called “Burgerlicious.”
I’m thrilled he had fun. I’m also glad it’s over.