Monthly Archives: January 2008

An Historical Pictorial of Titanic Proportions

sams-titanic.jpg

Sam’s explains each frame:

1) iceberg, 2) taking on water, 3) bow deck underwater, 4) boat deck in water, 5) propellers out of water, 6) ship begins to crack, 7) ship splits in three, 8) stern sits normally while bow sinks, 9) stern takes on water, 10) 90 degree angle, 11) final sinking, 12) propellers going underwater, 13) bow planes away (that means sinking fast), 14) ocean floor

“S.S. Oops.” Har!

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Just Don’t Call Her Late for Dinner

Hannah (exasperated, with hands on hips): Mom, would you please come downstairs and tell Sam that my middle name is Dorothy?

Me: Huh?

Hannah: He doesn’t believe me.

Me: Well, Hannah, that doesn’t sound like a conversation worth having. You know your middle name is Dorothy. Ignore him.

Hannah (turning on her heel, sighing heavily, and bracing for her return to the basement): He just keeps on calling me “Toilet.”

When She Says She Loves Her Cats, She Is NOT Kidding

A page from Abby’s journal:

harryhero.jpg

That’s a lot of responsibility for a furry, 13-pound creature who gets high on catnip and cannot speak, but I must say, he gets the job done.

Is It Too Late For Her To Declare Her Candidacy?

Actual Hannah Quote of the Day: “Mom, did you know that every time I throw a penny in a fountain, I wish for world peace? But before my teacher told me about that, I used to wish I could fly.”

I love her.

Unrelated Presidential video clip. She could so mop the voting booth floor with all those other numbskulls.

Spam Update, or, Why Comment Moderation Sometimes Makes Me Giggle

Actual Spam Comment of the Day (which I am not going to approve, because if I do, then Dr. Dental Spammer will have the run of the place, and all of his comments, which appear in my moderation queue daily, by the way, will actually show up in the comments section, which just ain’t gonna happen, ’cause it’s MY blog, dammit):

Dr. Tim0thy Drisc0ll, DDS, or as I prefer to call him, “Dr. BadGrammar and Yet, Still Pedantic”: (who keeps trying to comment waaaaay back here on this old post): “Having a flavored toothpaste is one way of enjoying your brushing experience. However, you should also consider if the toothpaste is rich with flouride and other elements that fights bacteria and cavities.”

*snork*

Why thank you, Dr. Drisc0ll. I will also consider that.

Where Are You People Coming From??

Something on my stats page is driving me crazy.

Well, in a good way, but still.

Does anyone know WHY this post, two months after the fact, still gets many, many hits? More than any other post? Every single day?

Someone, somewhere, must have linked to it, but try as I might, I cannot figure out why, where, or by whom.

So, um, thank you? But, please — for curiosity’s sake — where are you coming from?

My Intellectual Contribution (So Far) to Presidential Election ’08

Yesterday, Dave Barry conducted a little live question and answer session, as part of his on-the-scene coverage of the New Hampshire primary. Common themes included voter trends, change, Cheez-Its, change, possible nicknames for Mike Huckabee and Dick Harpootlian (neither of whom need nicknames, since their real names are already so fun to say out loud) and also change. I submitted several questions, which Dave graciously answered, much to my school-girlish delight.

Here’s the intro to the Q&A, as written by a professional-type Miami Herald person and seen on The Herald’s website, followed by my questions and Dave’s responses.

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Dave Barry is running for President of the United States — but because he is a trained journalism professional, he is also sporadically covering the other, lesser candidates. On Jan. 8, 29 and on future dates that he can’t disclose just yet, he’ll be chatting live from 1-2 p.m. here. That’s right, he’ll actually be sitting behind a computer at the very same time as you, the reader, send him questions and comments. Please keep in mind that while Dave will answer as many questions as he can, he will laugh at most of them and delete them. That said, Dave may actually answer a question, and it could be yours.

Q: Dave, I realize that you are vehemently pro-change, but generally, I find that it’s easier to type responses to questions if I’m sitting in front of a computer, rather than behind one. Please explain how you developed this specialized skill, which is impressive, yet disturbing.
KDF, Not Quite as Snowy as NH, but Close 1/08/08

A: .rorrim a gnisu epyt I
Dave Barry 1/08/08

Q: Dave, what is Governor Huckabee’s position on Cheez-Its?
KDF 1/08/08

A: I am sure he views them as a an important nutritional component. FACT: One bag of Cheez-Its supplies 8 percent of your daily requirement of little square things the color of a traffic cone.
Dave Barry 1/08/08

Q: Mr. Barry, I took all of my change to the Coinstar machine and now I just have regular old cash, equivalent mathematically to the amount of coinage I turned in (minus a 9% counting fee, of course.) My question: since “change” is all the kids are talking about these days, and given the fact that change is apparently gaining value by the millisecond, particularly in New Hampshire, can I look forward to a day when the people in charge of the various Coinstar machines in my neighborhood will actively compete for my business and will not only stop charging me this so-called “counting fee,” but will pay me a premium to use their machine above anyone else’s just so that they can post boastful signs claiming that they believe in change and have more than anyone else?
KDF 1/08/08

A: That is a LOT of typing.
Dave Barry 1/08/08

Please pardon my giggling, but it was a heck of a lot of fun to participate in that.

Dave’s entire Q & A, which in my humble opinion, is well worth the click, can be seen by clicking here. You must start at the end and go backwards in order to follow the Q&A in order, but hey, the internets are funny like that.