KDF’s Moving Guide

Saturday, April 20th – Wednesday, the 23th: Pick up boxes at moving company, pack, swear, bruise self, pack more, clean things, make arrangements for three (count ’em, three) moving day all-day playdates, make liberal use of garbage dump and Goodwill bins, throw broken toys away, pack, swear more, pack, lose ability to speak, pack more.

Thursday, April 24th: Totally panic about a) lack of readiness for movers arrival (April 25th), and b) amount of stuff packed to go to hotel (= too much stuff.) Transport cats and children to hotel; check in. Unpack and organize; repack a lot of it.

Friday, April 25th: Distribute children to friends’ houses, all except for Abby, whose friend spent the previous evening puking. Return to house at 7:30 AM to meet movers. Pack, clean, freak out excessively. Praise Abby for dealing so well with 10 hours of total boredom. Collect children. Return to hotel for 9:30 PM collapse.

Saturday, April 26th: Return to house for final cleanup. Encourage kids to play in the yard. Assume that Abby’s whining and complaining is an emotional reaction to moving. Repeatedly point out that lying down in the parked, hot car might make her feel worse rather than better. Head out to Hannah’s soccer game, in search of normalcy. Be thankful that Abby doesn’t barf until after she exits the car. Yep. Right on the sidewalk.

Walk down the street to local grocer to obtain water, tissues, and plastic bags.

Proceed on foot to Hannah’s game.

Park self and green-faced daughter in adjacent baseball field, far away from all other children. Try not to laugh as Hannah screams, “FEEL BETTER, ABBY!!!” for all to hear. Cycle through three different grassy locations with puking child, bottle of rinse water, and rapidly filling plastic bag full of barfy tissues. Enjoy field nap in the sun with Abby once the barfing subsides.

Proceed to hotel and enjoy three more vomit explosions.

Nervously consult WebMD to check the “when to seek medical advice” guidelines regarding dehydration.

Sunday, April 27th: Spend the day rejoicing over the fact that the stomach storm subsided just as I was figuring out how far we were from the nearest ER.

End the day watching in horror as Hannah begins puking.

Seriously appreciate the part of hotel life that includes daily housekeeping.


5 responses to “KDF’s Moving Guide

  1. {{{KDF}}}

    You’re a saint.

    Aw, I wouldn’t say that, although we did all smell like Saint Bernards that day. :) -KDF

  2. I just laughed like a hyena in the privacy of my “office”/study. That was the funniest entry I’ve read in a long time. I would like to get Sam’s take on things though. This is not the sort of welcome home a guy expects after a rough and tumble week at camp. “Hi -barf- Sam, we-barf-missed you -barf.” Anyway…Abby gets the cool kid award of the week for Puke Under Pressure and managing to come out smiling. I think hotel living got the better of her. Just say “no” to the breakfast buffet. Those infernal things are nothing more than germs under hot lamps.

  3. Moving is a pain — but the hotel life… ah! Housekeeping is a treat, isn’t it?

  4. Actually Uncle Doug, I puked 2 days before Sam left. Sams reaction was, “BARF, Ha ha ha ha ha ha!(running away laghing like a little girl” it was a total of 7 pukes and my mom said i was a “trooper”. i have not tuched the eggs sence the insadent. they were not that good anyway.

  5. *SNORK*

    abby, sweetie, you’re not only a trooper, but you’re a keeper!

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